As a first time mom, there are A LOT of things you experience that you never experienced before. Sometimes we feel like we are in this journey of motherhood alone when in reality all we have to do is look around and see the countless number of women who have been through the same thing!
If you are a first time mom and are trying to figure out exactly what to do or how to adjust to motherhood, I strongly suggest looking to a seasoned, experienced mother (who you trust!) to help you, guide you, assure you, and offer you mom life wisdom!
As a first time mom, I didn’t want to walk through motherhood alone and when I didn’t know what to do my mother was the one who came beside me to help me along the way. And even though I love my husband to death there are things he can’t fully understand because well, he’s never physically been through having a child and being a mother.
My mother became my role model- an experienced mom that I looked to for guidance, reassurance, and wisdom. Not only did having a role model help me through the hard times of motherhood but having a role model also reassured me what I wasn’t alone. I think all first time moms should have someone who they can look up to during this new season in their life!
I needed a role model (who was my mom) as a first time mom because she understood what I was going through, was able to guide me and comfort me with her wisdom and was able to personally relate to this new season in my life.
I had the privilege of having my mom help me and support me. I know not every first time mom has their mother around to help them or has the support of their mother but I would still encourage all new moms to find someone they can trust to help guide them through this momentous new season of their lives. Find a seasoned mother who you trust, maybe an aunt or a grandparent or a sister or in-law. Don’t feel like you have to walk through motherhood alone!
Why First Time Moms Need a Role Model
Seasoned mothers are a great role model to first time moms. I know this because my mom played such an important role when I became a mother. She was there for me in a way that I felt was indescribable. As an experienced mom, she was about to help me in ways that I didn’t even know I needed help. And here is why…
Her experience guides me
Having an experienced mom as a role model will help you because she is knowledgeable. My mom has obviously experienced what I am going through. Maybe not in the same exact way, but she still had experience from having 3 children that I didn’t have. She was able to use her experience to guide me and show me that the journey of motherhood I am on will not always feel overwhelming. There are things that I went through as a first time mom that she had more experience in.
For example, when my daughter started waking up in the middle of the night again after sleeping through the night it was my mom who first told me about the different cycles and sleep regressions that babies go through. If I didn’t trust her enough to come to her with what I was worried about then she would have never been able to tell me that what my baby girl was doing is completely normal. I would have just let my worry snowball into a full blown panic. My mother’s experience was able to guide me.
Her wisdom comforts me
Not only do experienced mothers have more knowledge about certain things than we do as first time moms but they also have wisdom from their experiences. I can’t tell you enough how much my mother’s experience ultimately comforted me. Like I mentioned before when I would worry about something that my daughter was doing she would tell me that it’s nothing to be worried about. If she wasn’t there to let me know that things are going to be ok then I would be unnecessarily worried about something that is completely normal! Ultimately, her wisdom comforted me because it fizzled out my potential worrying.
She can relate to me like no one else can
When you have another mother as a role model there are things that you can share with her that no one else would understand because chances are she’s “been there and done that”- so she can relate to what you feel and what you are going through. As much as I love my husband he can’t relate to things that my body experiences because he’s never been through it. Having my mom as a role model and someone I can confide in, she relates to me like no one else can. Not only does she know what I’m going through but she also knows me well enough to give me advice and wisdom that she knows I would understand.
She helps me and understands me on a whole new level
Having an experienced mother as a role model who understands you and knows you will help you so much! For example, having my mother beside me allowed me to feel safe that I knew I wasn’t alone. There were times that all she had to do was look at me and she knew how I was feeling. I didn’t have to overly divulge my feelings- there were times that she knew what I was feeling because she understood me beyond words. This was a whole new level of understanding. There were even times that my husband didn’t know what was wrong with me but because I had a seasoned mother guiding me through this new life of motherhood she immediately knew what I was going through. You have no idea how valuable being understood can be as a first time mom.
She helps me see what true love and sacrifice is
As a first time mom, there is a whole new understanding of what love and sacrifice are. After holding your new little baby, you feel a connection that you never felt before- a love that is never ending and indescribable. After feeling this love with my baby, I was able to immediately understand the love that my family has for me and the scarifies that was made for me. Just as much as I love my new little baby girl and would sacrifice my life for her, I know that is how my mom feels about me. Because my mom was my role model I had a newfound understanding of how she really feels about me and how much she loves me. I know that one day in the distant future when my little girl has a baby I want to be there for her just as much as my mom was for me because I know I would do anything for her.
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Delia@ www.delia-in-a-nutshell.com says
This is so true! I had so many challenges after having my first daughter and I had to go through them on my own. Add some PPD to the mix and you have a recipe for disaster. It was really hard and of course, I pulled through eventually but some help, guidance and like you said a row model would have been so useful!