As a stay at home mom, ever felt like there was this wall between you and your husband with communication? Being honest with your husband as a stay at home mom is hard. Communication can be taxing and stressful, especially after a long hard day where you just want a few minutes of quiet alone time. But there are a lot of benefits for both you and your husband and positive reasons to be honest with your husband about your day and how you feel.
Being honest with your husband as a stay at home mom is so important because it will help you relieve stress, open up the road of communication, and allow your husband to understand you better.
Yes, there are times that you don’t want to talk or feel like you don’t need to talk. There are times you feel that being honest with your husband will make things worse. But from my own experience so far as being a new stay at home mom, every time I communicate with my husband and am honest with him about the way I am feeling it betters me, him, and ultimately our relationship.
What To Be Honest About?
You may be wondering, what is there even to be honest about? Being honest doesn’t mean you have some profound secret to share that you’ve been hiding. Being honest with your husband as a stay at home mom is just being open, truthful, and sincere about how you’re feeling. Maybe it’s sharing what you went through that day or what you’ve been going through. Maybe it’s sharing about something that has been bothering you. Or maybe it’s just to say that you need a hug. You don’t have to overthink it or feel like what you have to say is dumb!
Reasons Why Being Honest with Your Husband as a Stay at Home Mom is so Important
1- It relieves stress:
When you are being honest with your husband it definitely relieves stress! Sometimes we have all of this stress from the day that keeps accumulating and we have nowhere to unload it on. And we definitely don’t want to unload it on our children! So most of the time we just stay quiet and keep it all inside. If we never let it out it can just keep building and building until we eventually blow up. And to be honest, when we blow up it’s usually over the tiniest thing that did not deserve a huge blowout. It’s the little things that can really set us over the top.
Being honest with your husband can eliminate the blow out of your stress building. What you DON’T want to do is unleash all of the stress you feel on your husband. What you DO want to do is explain to him how you feel.
Before your husband gets home, be sure to let him know that you had a rough day and that you’re looking forward to seeing him and talking to him later. This way, he’s not blind sighted by how stressed you are and you give him a little heads up that not only do you need to talk to him, but also that he can help. I know that when my husband feels like he is needed and can be a benefit to me things go over much better than when I’m just unloading on him and talking down to him. Marriage and parenting takes 2 people working together side by side and when one person limps, you give them your shoulder.
When you share with your husband how you feel- you definitely feel better! It can be a major stress reliever!
2- He knows what you do during the day/understands the extent of your day:
Being honest with your husband as a stay at home mom not only just relieves stress but it can help him feel connected to what you are doing during the day. I know a lot of moms who just compartmentalize their day away from their husband’s day and they don’t tell their husbands about their day because they feel like it’s not important.
I heard one mom say “Why does my husband want to hear about my day if I’ve just been home all day? It’s not like I went to work and have a bunch of stories.”
While I completely understand where she is coming from, I don’t totally agree. I think your day as a stay at home mom is just as important as anyone else’s day and this should not be the reason you feel like you can’t share things with your husband. Yes, your husband going off to work to provide for his family may seem “more important”. But you and your husband’s days are NOT more or less important than each other’s. Your days are a different kind of important- but equally important.
I say all of this because one of the reasons being honest with your husband as a stay at home mom is so important is that it helps him understand what you do during the day and what your day entails. Before I started being honest with my husband about these things he just thought that my day was simple- feed our daughter and put her down for naps. But that is sooo not the case. As mothers, we do SO much! You can’t image how much more gracious, kind, and loving he was to me after I began to tell him about my day every day.
Being honest with your husband about what you do during the day will also keep him in the loop about how your baby is growing, what fun things you did that day, what new things your baby accomplished that day, what your baby is doing differently- and so much more!
Sharing these things with your husband will benefit you and your marriage is so much more than just one way!
3- He feels like you appreciate him enough to share your day:
It may seem crazy but husbands actually love to listen. They might not like to listen to you when they are being nagged- but they love to listen because it makes them feel like you appreciate him enough to share your day with him. Being honest with your husband as a stay at home mom is so important because not only does it benefit you but it also benefits your husband.
After all, marriage is about being selfless enough to comfort your spouse even when you feel like you need comfort. It’s about putting someone else’s needs first, and then when your spouse is doing the same for you is when you find an awesome balance of love.
When you share with your husband what you did that day, how you felt, and what happened it makes him feel like you appreciate him enough to take time out of your busy day to talk to him. It may sound silly but I’ve experienced this first hand! When I could have been cleaning, doing laundry, or even just quietly resting and taking a minute for myself I chose to sit and talk to my husband. Sometimes this feels like an annoying thing to do- I’m going to be honest.
Sometimes I feel like talking is too hard because staying quiet is easier. But going out of your way to share things with your husband is worth it. Especially when not only will he feel good about being able to be your strong shoulder, but also allow you to get some things off of your chest.
4- It opens up the 2-way road of communication
Being honest with your husband is so important because it opens the 2-way road of communication. When you are honest with your husband, more than likely your husband will be honest with you. When you share with him the details of his day, he’ll also feel like sharing the details of his day with you.
This is a little marriage trick of mine- whenever I feel like there’s something my husband needs to tell me but isn’t, I’ll start to talk about my day and put the focus on me and then ask him about how his day was. 9 out of 10 times is when he’ll share with me what’s on his mind. A lot of times husbands need to be comforted before they can be vulnerable. And then after they’re vulnerable they are completely fine (like a weight is lifted off of them). I’m almost the exact opposite- I can be vulnerable first but expect to be comforted afterward.
Opening up the roads of communication may not seem like your job all the time. Sometimes you just want to be the one who stays quiet until your husband asks you how your day was. But I’ve learned from experience that if you start to share your day with him daily, on the one day that you don’t do it he’ll be the one asking you how your day was.
Being honest with your husband and opening the roads of communication will set a communication standard in your marriage. It will become a habit, instead of a rarity. Then when something comes up that your husband needs to talk to you about, he feels safe enough to share with you what’s on his heart.
5- It draws you closer
Man, does communication draw you closer! I can’t stress enough how communication is so important for a marriage. Not just because it’s needed but because it draws you and your spouse together like nothing else can. Being honest with your husband is so important because there are times that you feel SO far apart from each other because of the different daily lives you lead.
At times I feel like my husband has no idea what it takes to be a stay at home mom and I feels like he’s so far from understanding me. There are other days that my husband feels like I don’t understand how much he does because of the different role I have in our family. Communication solves this problem!
A lot of the time we feel like we have to fix the product of the issue, instead of fixing the root of the issue. But whenever something comes between my husband and I the first thing I know we need to do is talk it out. There are times that I feel like talking will make the situation worse (especially when I’m furious with him!).
But in reality, I know that instead of creating more space in between us, what we really need is to talk so we can be close again.
And by being honest with your husband every day and cultivating the communication in your relationship you are setting some great cornerstones for your marriage. That when the hurricane of problems blow, your marriage will be built on a strong foundation and not crumble.
6- Can prevent fears
Being honest with your husband can have the power to prevent fears that you have from growing. My husband is usually the voice of reason in me. I might not want to admit that all the time but there are definitely times that he has a way of calming me down and allowing me to see past my fears. After all, that is why you marry someone- because they can understand you in a way that you may not even understand yourself.
There are a countless number of things that I can think about and instantly have fears. What if my daughter is developmentally delayed because she isn’t reaching her next milestone yet? What if we don’t have enough money for household items because I chose to do my nails? What if something happens and I need to go back to work, who will watch my daughter? Will my daughter have an allergic reaction to the food I just gave her?
These questions can go on for days! And for some moms it might seem ridiculous that I even think like this- but the reality is that most moms have fears that resemble these. It’s just the nature of what we do!
But when I think of these things, no matter how small they are, I always try to bring them up to my husband. He hears my fears and brings me comfort. He may not always make them go away- but knowing that he’s just there listening to what I’m feeling is sometimes all it takes for me to feel better. Instead of having those fears snowball into gigantic boulders, talking about them and having him bring clarity to my insanity reduces the number of times those little thoughts actually turn to real-life fears.
7- Establishes trust and reassures reliance on each other
It may seem redundant but being honest with your husband establishes trust and reassures your reliance on each other. When you are communicating on a regular basis, sharing your day with other and being honest about how you feel and what you’re experiencing you are building on that cornerstone of communication blocks of trust and reassurance in each other. Having trust in your marriage is priceless.
When you trust each other, little can come between you two. When you trust that both of you have each other’s best interest in mind, your marriage will exponentially grow. Having this firm trust will also help you be a better parent because you will trust each other and their actions. You will trust your spouse’s reasons for doing something because you know he wants what is best for you and your children. Having trust is the main tool in an effective marriage!
If you haven’t noticed already, communicating is a BIG deal. Communication isn’t always easy. Being honest with your husband will take hard work and daily effort. Communication is beneficial to both you AND your husband- specifically being honest with each other about how you feel and what you’re going through.
Remember, being honest with your husband as a stay at home mom is so important because it will help you relieve stress, open up the road of communication, and allow your husband to understand you better.
Marriage Revival Challenge
There’s nothing better than a marriage challenge to strengthen your relationship and help you better communicate! I absolutely love marriage challenges and I actually created my own marriage challenge that has helped my marriage, along with a lot of other marriages! Not only did I create a really great marriage challenge and challenge program, but I also wanted to offer it for free! The challenge I created is called the Marriage Revival Challenge, focusing on adding life to your marriage. I created this Marriage Challenge not to give you all of the “answers” but to give you the tools you need to enhance and improve your marriage.
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So, there you have it- 7 really awesome reasons being honest with your husband is so important, not just for you and him but for the future and growth of your family!
Have any other communication tips or reasons being honest with your husband as a stay at home mom is so important?? Feel free to share in the comments below!
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Are you and your husband new parents?? Check out my post “7 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Alive as New Parents”!