Family Travel (old)

How To Find An OBGYN in 5 Steps

Inside: Pregnancy is all about keeping you and baby healthy. Find out in 5 easy steps how to find an OBGYN who is right for you, your family & your baby!

Seeing those 2 little pink lines appear on that little pregnancy test makes your heart drop. You start feeling a million different emotions and immediately start thinking about the myriad of things you have to do.

Then it hits you…you have to call the doctor!

After taking my fifth pregnancy test (yes, I took FIVE tests because I was freaking out!), I worked up the nerve to call my gynecologist to book an appointment only to find out she was a GYN and didn’t do obstetrics anymore!

Which is just a bunch of fancy words to say– I needed to find an obstetrician. And I was so overwhelmed…

But following this 5 step system made it sooo much easier! And I know it will help you too 🙂

Pregnancy is all about keeping you and your baby healthy! If you don’t have a gynecologist (GYN) that also does obstetrics (like my doctor), then you’ll have to find an obstetrician (OBGYN) for your pregnancy.

This may seem overwhelming but if you start at the right place, it’s easier for everything to fall into place.

Remember, it’s important to find an OBGYN that is right for you and that you feel comfortable with so do your research!

5 Steps to find the right OBGYN

I’ve used these 5 steps several times, trying to find the right doctor and once I did, it was like a match made in heaven. I shared these tips with my mommy & me class and all of the mommy’s-to-be had amazing success finding their dream doctors too!

1- Find The Hospital You Want To Deliver In

Let’s start at the beginning, where do you want to deliver?

Think of the closest hospitals to your house, or maybe the hospital that a family member or friend delivered in that you liked. It’s easy to only think of convenience but don’t forget to think about where you will be the most comfortable.

For me, the closest hospital to my house seemed really unorganized when I had to go to the ER one day. I didn’t want to deliver there so I ended up choosing a hospital I knew I liked that was a couple of miles farther.

Or maybe you want to deliver at a birthing center- find the place that’s right for you!

2- Find The OBGYN or Team of Doctors That Deliver at that Hospital

Most OBGYN’s have affiliated practices with the hospital they deliver at and they see the mother from their first appointment all the way up until their delivery. This way, you are with the same doctor for your whole pregnancy.

This gave me great relief knowing that I wouldn’t have a doctor deliver my baby that had no idea about my pregnancy. Sometimes your exact doctor may not be able to deliver your baby because they’re not on call at that time or working those hours but they will have a team of doctors who work with your doctor that knows you and your case.

3- Know Your Views on the Major Decisions

How do you feel about getting an epidural?

Are you going to try to prevent getting induced?

How important is it for you to have a natural birth?

Vaginal birth or C-section?

You don’t want a doctor who is not in agreement with your views or wishes. In other words, don’t go to a doctor that encourages you to take medication during your pregnancy if you only want to do healthy alternatives.

My first pregnancy I had a doctor who was quick to prescribe me nausea medication during my first trimester. At the time I was trying to go as natural as possible but she insisted it was best. But I wished my doctor had asked me if I even wanted nausea medicine.

For my second pregnancy, I knew exactly what I wanted and what I didn’t want so I changed my doctor. And this gave me such peace of mind.

To make your pregnancy life even EASIER, I have a resource library jam-packed with awesome free printables and resources to help you master pregnancy. Click here to get access to my Mom Treasury!

4- Ask Your Husband

It’s not absolutely necessary for your husband to be comfortable with your doctor but it is nice to include him in the decision. After all, you wouldn’t be pregnant without him!

My husband appreciated that I wanted his opinion on my OBGYN. He never told me, no or yes, just simply asked me if I was comfortable with her.

It also helps if your husband likes your OBGYN because if he will be in the delivery room with you, you want to make sure everyone is on the same page.

Truth is when you are down and out or pushing up a storm, your husband can be your advocate to your doctor.

5- Ask Yourself, Are You Comfortable?

To some people comfortability is a benefit, to me, it was a necessity! Being pregnant for the first time is hard enough so you want to make sure to trust the medical professional you choose.

Free Pregnancy Printables to Make Your Pregnancy 100% Easier

Become part of the Mastering Mom Life Insider tribe and get instant, exclusive access to my Mom Treasury filled with FREE printables + worksheets to make pregnancy life easier! Plus get access to over 50+ mom life printables so you are super prepared to master new mom life 🙂

>> Make sure to find a doctor you are comfortable with and one that will make your pregnancy easier. Finding a good doctor may take some effort but it’s worth it!

Don’t be afraid to switch doctors if you find you don’t like them either! This is all about you and your baby’s health so do what is best for you.

Remember, even though it may be overwhelming, seeing those 2 little pink lines is one of the best feelings in the world! Don’t worry about the myriad of things you have to do. Just take one step at a time and you’ll do great!

Number One Conversation to Have as New Parents

Marriage Life

Inside: Feeling overwhelmed as new parents? Find out how the conversation of expectations can help your marriage after you become parents!

It was 1:00 in the morning and I washing dishes grunting under my breath, barely able to keep my eyes open. I heard my husband snoring from the other side of the house and I was livid at him for not cleaning the bottles after he used them.

Why didn’t he just clean the bottles so when I wake up in the middle of the night to feed our daughter I didn’t have to wash them first??

Seems silly to be upset about but in the heat of the moment when you are sleep deprived and beyond exhausted– parenthood can make the tiniest situation feel like the size of an elephant!

Being a new parent is like entering a whole new world. Parenthood takes communication, patience, and forgiveness– and so does your marriage.

There are MANY things new parents need to talk about when they have a baby. All of them are absolutely important but there is one conversation that is essential to have with your spouse after having a new baby.

The conversation of expectations!

Having the conversation of expectations and talking about what you expect from each other will help you define your marriage and your new role as parents. Taking time to talk to your spouse about your expectations will save your sanity and even save your marriage during the dreaded “new parent” phase.

Why have a conversation of expectations?

It’s so important to ask your husband what he expects from you and to convey to him what you expect from him. When you make your expectations clear, it’s easier to pinpoint when things go wrong.

Sometimes we expect things from our spouse that weren’t properly communicated and we end up upset because we expected them to read our minds.

I am very guilty of this. When I was up at midnight washing my daughter’s bottles and angry at my husband for not cleaning them first, I was guilty of not properly communicating to my husband what I expected.

I expected him to clean the dirty bottles since he was the last one to feed our daughter and make sure to leave me with clean bottles for the midnight feeding. But he, of course, didn’t know this because I never told him.

It seemed like common sense, but to him– it wasn’t. And we got into a huge argument over it.

Later after we calmed down, we finally had a conversation about what our expectations were for each other. And to this day, my husband tells me that it was the best thing we’ve ever done.

The Ugly Truth

As new parents, you and your spouse are stepping into another role and with that role comes a lot of different responsibilities you’re not used to.

Some of those parenting responsibilities will come naturally, and some you will have to work really hard at. There will be some things that you will ace as a mom but those same things your husband may fail at as a dad.

The truth is– parenthood is a minefield for your marriage.

Step on one bomb, and everything gets blown up. The important thing to do is to COMMUNICATE effectively.

Truth is...parenthood is a minefield for your marriage. Step on one bad spot and everything gets blown up. But effective communication is the key to shutting off those mines!

There were times as a new mom that no one had to tell me what to do, I just naturally did it. But this didn’t happen as smoothly for my husband. He needed someone to tell him what to do or to teach him how to do something.

He needed the verbal communication to complete an action.

And because we were constantly talking about what we needed and expected from each other, I was able to help him when he fell short, and he was able to pick me up when I failed.

The conversation of expectations ultimately makes life so much easier!

How to have the conversation of expectations:

Set aside uninterrupted time to talk to your spouse. Maybe even unplug from your phone and turn off the TV.
Don’t forget to have a discussion. It’s easy to talk and not listen and it’s also easy to listen and not talk. Make sure you and your husband have a clear time to speak and that you are actively listening.
After each time you state an expectation, have your spouse agree or disagree with your statement.

This is important because you can state an expectation but if it’s not properly received then you can assume it will be forgotten. The point of having this conversation is to listen to each other and to communicate with each other.

Your conversation doesn’t have to be long or formal. Just be yourselves and talk in a way that your spouse will understand what you are saying! You don’t have to put too much pressure on yourself or him. Just leave the lines of communication open.

To agree or not agree…that is the question…

An example of how my husband and I do this is:

My husband will say: “It would be easier for me if you make a shopping list for when if I go to the store after work.”

I’ll say: “Okay, I can do that. I’ll text you the list when you get to the store or send it to you sometime today.”

See! That was easy! It’s just confirming/ agreeing to what he’s saying. (As you can see, we’ve argued about grocery shopping and what we actually need from the store on several occasions. But this little system helps us understand what we expect from each other.)

An example where we don’t agree to the stated expectation is:

I will say: “It would help me a lot if you can help me when you get home by cleaning the dishes after I cook.”

He’ll say: “I know you do a lot but I don’t want to clean as soon as I get home, I rather spend time with my daughter who I haven’t seen all day.”

Then we’ll have a conversation to work around this problem. Now, I don’t automatically expect him to help me clean when he gets home because we talked about it and I got to hear his side. I know he doesn’t NOT want to help me, he just wants to spend some time with Baby L.

It may sound silly, but being open about what you and your husband expect from each other can prevent SO. MANY. arguments.

Remember to Talk in love!

It’s easy for this conversation to turn into an “I need you to do this and I want you to do that” kind of talk. But that’s not what this is about.

Having the conversation of expectations is about loving each other enough to want to see both of you to succeed as new parents. The examples above are how we aim to have our conversations, asking each other to do things politely and in love.

Do we succeed all the time? Absolutely not! Sometimes these conversations lead to arguments but those are most likely the times that we forgot to stay calm and talk in love first.

Questions to help the conversation of expectations:

(Ask these from your point of view and then answer them as well so you are both answering the same question.)

What are your expectations for me now that I am a parent?
What are you feeling that you didn’t feel before?
What do you think you will be good at?
What are you afraid of?
What do you think is my role in the house? Am I expected to cook and clean or will we do it together?
Do you expect me to go back to work? When?
Do you expect me to stay home with our baby?
Do you expect me to fully be responsible for feeding the baby?
What do you expect me to do when I get home from work?
Is there something you expect from me before I leave for work?
Where do you think I need to help more?

How Many Times?

The conversation of expectations is not just one conversation! This conversation is just to help you get the juices flowing and for you guys to agree that you will be more aware of communicating what you are feeling.

Every time you feel like you have an expectation for your husband make sure you tell him.

After countless times of my husband and I arguing over dumb things we finally realized that the reason why we’re getting mad at each other is that we don’t know what is expected of us. After we started to make it a priority to communicate more things got WAY better!

Even when I was so tired that I didn’t want to have any serious conversations, my hubby already knew what I needed and what to do for me because I had already told him a month earlier.

My husband started to help me in ways that I wanted but I never expressed and I started encouraging him in ways that he needed. And we became better spouses and parents because of it.

Having the conversation of expectations may seem like a daunting or silly task but it changed my marriage when we became parents! People even asked us how we are doing so well after becoming new parents and we explain how we do this.

It’s so important to communicate with each other about what you need and expect from each other. Communicating your expectations, wishes, and desires will help you define your role as parents in your marriage. After all, parenting involves a lot of teamwork!

Marriage Revival Challenge

There’s nothing better than a marriage challenge to strengthen your relationship and help you better communicate!

I absolutely love marriage challenges and the ability it has to draw a couple closer. I actually created my own FREE marriage challenge that has helped my own marriage, as well as a lot of other marriages.

The challenge I created is called the Marriage Revival Challenge, focusing on helping you and your spouse connect on a deeper level. I created this marriage challenge not to give you all of the “answers” but to give you the tools you need to enhance and improve your marriage.

No matter what stage of marriage you are in- whether you have been married for 6 months, 5 years, or 15 years, the Marriage Revival Challenge can help rebuild your marriage or simply enhance it!

Join the Free Marriage Revival Challenge Now!

Sooo I challenge you to sit with your hubby and simply talk to him about what you guys expect from each other. It just may change your lives!

Had success at the conversation of expectations? Have any questions? Feel free to drop a comment below!

Wait! Do you love free printables??

Become part of the Mastering Mom Life Insider tribe and get instant, FREE, private access to my resource library filled with printables + worksheets to make mom life easier!

Want some more tips on marriage? Check out “7 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Alive as New Parents” here!

Want to remember this? Post “Number One Conversation to Have as New parents” to your favorite Pinterest Board!

7 Truths About Your Body After Baby

Mom Life

Inside: Having a baby is miraculous- exhausting but amazing! Getting to know our new post baby body is so important. Read on to understand the 7 truths about your new body to help you feel comfortable and confident! You are not alone!

I’ve always been astonished at how women completely transform after becoming mothers. We go from normal everyday women to powerful creators of life!

We now have this great sense of responsibility, the overwhelming love for our children, the juggling of being a wife and a mom and so much more!

The journey from woman to mom is both internal (emotionally and mentally) AND physical (hello stretch, marks goodbye smooth tight skin).

What we thought we knew about our bodies quickly got thrown out the window because we have to learn all about our new post baby body. But getting acquainted with your new body will help you overcome the overwhelm of feeling like a stranger in your own body so you can start feeling comfortable and confident!

Bottom line is: we have to understand the truth that our post baby body is different than our body before we were pregnant.

Understanding this will help you know that you are not alone in what you are facing!

Here Are Some Truths About your Body After Baby:

Truth #1: Your Body Goes Through A Lot

As mothers, our bodies go through so many different stages:

when you’re first pregnant and have fatigue
when you’re nauseous and tired over ~~morning~~ all day sickness
when you start to grow your baby and your bump gets bigger
when you’re huge and can’t wait to have your baby
when you’re in labor and delivery and pushing your body to push out a beautiful baby
and now afterward, where you’re recovering from your delivery, feeding your baby, and trying to figure out this new “post-baby mom body”.

Our bodies have just been through a lot!

Even if it’s a year after you had your baby- your body is still going through a lot! You may see this in a different way throughout the day. Maybe you can’t hold your bladder as long as you used to. (Guilty!) Or maybe you get tired faster. These are all totally normal!

Truth #2: You May Not Be Able to Lose Weight as Quickly

I have found out the hard way that I cannot lose weight as quickly as I did before I was pregnant. Before my post baby body, I used to be able to go on a hard diet and lose 5 pounds in 10 days. Not. Any. More.

Try not to be fixated on a weight “number”, instead focus on feeling healthy. This is easy to say and easy to read but sure as heck not easy to do. Trust me, I know!

Losing weight is not just about looking good but about feeling good. It’s important to know and recognize the difference. If you’re totally comfortable with your new body then hooray!

But if you feel like you want to lose some weight and feel a little better then work at it- set goals and just do it!

Truth #3: You May Not Be Able to Lose Weight Using the Same Methods You Used To

I used to be able to just drink fresh juices and lose weight in what seemed like a second. Now it’s not that easy.

Try not to focus on what you USED to do. I have learned that being a mom is all about adapting. Adapting to new roles, adapting to new situations and new scenarios.

We have to adapt to our new lifestyle so why not just accept the fact that things are different and be okay with the different.

Truth #4: Your Post Baby Body is Different From All The Changes

Having a baby changes your life– especially your body. In your post baby body, your hips may get wider, your breasts may get bigger, your hair may get thinner or your hair may get thicker, your feet may get bigger! Changes galore!

It’s okay to realize that things may never be the same and that’s okay! Focus on what you can change and what you would like to better but also try to accept and love the things that are new about you.

One of my biggest changes was my feet grew during pregnancy. I have no idea why or the science behind this but all I know is I was a shoe size 8 and now I’m a 9. This irked me to no end! But I LOVE my old shoes and I was so excited to wear then again after pregnancy. I spent yeeeaaarrrssss building my shoe collection and now I can’t even wear a quarter of them!

Does this bother me? YES! But all I can do is keep moving forward. I always think maybe when I continue to lose the baby weight my feet will go back to normal size?? Who knows!

BONUS: Don’t forget to grab your copy of the FREE Self-Care Cheatsheet to help you focus on your self-care and start feeling confident in your own skin! Get the download by filling out the form below!

Truth #5: Now You Have to Eat Right AND Exercise

I know how badly I want to lose weight and feel healthy. I learned that I have to make sure to combine healthy food with exercise. I never realized how important being active was. Because I live in New York City before I was pregnant I used to walk to the subway, walk to the store, walk to work, walk to school- I didn’t realize how active I was in my everyday life!

Now that I stay at home with Baby L I’m not as active, and man can I tell. I started to walk every day with Baby L and not only do I feel better but she loves it too.

So be sure to eat healthily and exercise! And exercise the way YOU feel comfortable, not the way you see other people doing it. If you want to just walk for 30 minutes a day, do it! If you want to run, do it! If you want to swim, do it! Do what works for you!

Truth #6: You May Have Stretch-Marks

This is a perfect example of your body being different now than when it was before you were pregnant. Hello, post baby body!

I know some women who don’t have one stretch mark and then I know some who have them all over! If you don’t have stretch marks then I’m sure you get a lot of women asking you ‘how did you do it?!’

If you do have stretch marks don’t be discouraged! Your baby is here and it’s all because of you!

I personally have a lot of stretch marks. It’s because I had so much water retention in the last 2 weeks of pregnancy that my arms and legs began to abnormally stretch. No matter what I did it would not go away. I also tried every stretch mark prevention remedy there was and they didn’t seem to work!

So, trust me, I know the frustration but I also know the relief that comes with just accepting this is who I am. My stretch marks are the tale of my delivery victory! This doesn’t mean that I don’t take care of them and moisturize my body in those areas. I also try to watch my weight so they don’t grow but I’ve accepted “this is me, this is my post-baby body and I will love it”.

Truth #7: Other Mothers Will Look and Feel Better Than You

Man, this is a truth that is hard to swallow. Know that everyone has their own way of doing things. Not everyone went through what you did and you won’t go through what everyone else did.

Our experiences shape who we are and have an effect on us, because of this we are all different.

The truth is, someone is doing better than you but you are also doing better than someone else. We can’t compare our stories, kids, and bodies to other mothers.

While it’s okay to feel disappointed it’s also important we don’t dwell on that too much where we feel like we can’t move on or better ourselves.

Free Self Care Cheat Sheet

Start feeling comfortable and confident in your post baby mom bod by focusing on your self-care! This FREE self-care cheat sheet will help you take a few minutes out for yourself each week so you can be rejuvenated 🙂

Get the free cheat sheet now!

As much as we want to snap our fingers and make our post-baby bodies perfect, the reality is our body went through a lot. It’s best not to overly push ourselves to be like how we used to because then it can negatively affect other areas of our lives.

Even though at times you might feel like a stranger in your own body, accepting the fact that your post-baby body is different than before we were pregnant can help you feel confident and good about yourself.

And when you feel good about ourselves you’re happier… and when you’re happier your kids are happier…and when your kids are happy then your husband is happier.

As mothers and wives, we play a huge role in our home and feeling confident and good about ourselves goes a long way!

Are there any other post-baby body truths that you are experiencing? I’d love to hear them- share them below! As always, feel free to personally contact me here for any personal support, encouragement or even just to share your story with me.

Wait! Do you love free printables??

Become part of the Mastering Mom Life Insider tribe and get instant, exclusive access to my Mom Treasury filled with FREE printables + worksheets to make mom life easier!

Family Travel (old)

5 Steps to find the right OBGYN

1- Find The Hospital You Want To Deliver In

2- Find The OBGYN or Team of Doctors That Deliver at that Hospital

3- Know Your Views on the Major Decisions

4- Ask Your Husband

5- Ask Yourself, Are You Comfortable?

Free Pregnancy Printables to Make Your Pregnancy 100% Easier

You might enjoy this post too!

Why have a conversation of expectations?

The Ugly Truth

How to have the conversation of expectations:

To agree or not agree…that is the question…

Remember to Talk in love!

Questions to help the conversation of expectations:

How Many Times?

Marriage Revival Challenge

Join the Free Marriage Revival Challenge Now!

Wait! Do you love free printables??

Want to remember this? Post “Number One Conversation to Have as New parents” to your favorite Pinterest Board!

Here Are Some Truths About your Body After Baby:

Truth #1: Your Body Goes Through A Lot

Truth #2: You May Not Be Able to Lose Weight as Quickly

Truth #3: You May Not Be Able to Lose Weight Using the Same Methods You Used To

Truth #4: Your Post Baby Body is Different From All The Changes

Truth #5: Now You Have to Eat Right AND Exercise

Truth #6: You May Have Stretch-Marks

Truth #7: Other Mothers Will Look and Feel Better Than You

Free Self Care Cheat Sheet

Wait! Do you love free printables??