Inside: Want to the secret to having a strong marriage after kids? Find out the 7 rules for strengthening your marriage after you become parents.
One of the hardest hurdles your marriage will endure is the change from husband and wife to mom and dad.
It’s a fantastic shift, but also a really hard one. It’s important to know that staying madly in love with your spouse after kids is totally possible!
The secret to mastering a strong marriage after kids is to let your new role as mom and dad ENHANCE your marriage, not destroy it. Being mom and dad should be an addition to your role as husband and wife. Your parental status does not replace role as husband and wife.
The good news is that there is a way to stay madly in love with your spouse AND still be a pretty awesome parent. You don’t have to choose one or the other!
Let’s dive into these 5 rules to have a strong marriage after baby!
How to have a strong marriage after kids
Many parents assume now that they are parents that their role and responsibility as husband and wife is void. No no no. I believe that the hardest struggle your marriage will go through is the transition from being responsible for just your spouse to now being responsible for a baby too. The balancing act begins!
1. Be on the same team
Do not let your baby come between you. I repeat—DO NOT let your baby come between you. This doesn’t mean that you don’t love your child more than anything in the world. It just means that your baby is not the ball in a football game that you 2 are fighting over.
Choosing to work TOGETHER as opposed to against each other will keep you on the same page and in sync. This has A LOT to do with keeping your marriage strong after kids.
2. Be honest
As a parent, there are times you will be stretched so thin that your marriage will begin to be affected.
There will be times you will be so tired that you don’t even want to talk or explain yourself.
There will be times you will be so overwhelmed, all you want to do is lay down and close your eyes.
But it’s so important to remember to be open and honest with each other. Tell your spouse how you are feeling. Tell them what you need and what you don’t need. Your spouse may not be able to fix it, but they can lend a listening ear. And when your souse is being honest with you, listen to him/her. Don’t try to fix it- just listen and be a support.
Truly being honest with your spouse will prevent those huge arguments when you feel like your pushed so far past your limit. Don’t let yourself get to your limit. Clue your spouse in on what you feel, what you need, what you are thinking, and go through it together.
3. Show affection & be intimate
Hug. Kiss. Cuddle. Hold Hands.
I know one of the most popular pieces of marriage advice is to make sure to be intimate with your spouse. But it’s popular for a reason because it’s important!
I don’t want to beat a dead horse because I’m sure you know that what you do in the bedroom often has a big effect on your marriage. But don’t forget about the other ways that you can show your spouse affection every day, no matter where you are.
Physical touch can be so beneficial for any marriage, especially to keep your marriage strong after kids. You don’t have to go crazy with PDA (public displays of affection) but be sure to show your spouse some love.
Kiss each other every day hello and goodbye. Say I love you more often. Hold hands in the car. Take 5 minutes before going to bed and just cuddle and talk. These things really do add up and make your marriage strong!
4. Make time for each other
Being a parent, your responsibility doubles. Meaning, you have more to do, more to clean, more to plan, more places to be, and so on. It can be really easy to forget about your spouse in the constant parenthood juggle. But be sure to make time for each other.
Whether you have a few minutes each day to talk or you plan a weekly date night or after the kids are sleeping you dedicate time for each other.
It’s important not to forget about your spouse. I know it sounds stupid, but you’d be surprised at how easy it actually is. You get so caught up in your kids’ life that you forget about your spouse’s life.
When’s the last time you asked your spouse how their day was or what was their favorite part of their day? Or when’s the last time you watched a movie together or cooked dinner together and had fun?
Making time for each other is another way to show your spouse that you love them and acknowledge them.
5. Fight fair
I’m just going to say it- a couple in a strong marriage isn’t afraid to argue. Why? Because they fight fair. One of the main reasons couples hate to argue is because they are afraid that they will get hurt or say something hurtful. And more often than not, the argument isn’t even productive because nothing usually changes.
Tired of arguing and it goes nowhere? Learn to fight fair. Fighting fair in your marriage will make sure that no one “wins” and “loses” in an argument, but provide a way for both of you to communicate openly, honestly, and without judgment.
Want to learn how to fight fair? Find out the 5 rules for mastering the art fighting fair in your marriage here!
6. Trust each other
A great marriage is built on trust.
A strong marriage after kids is reinforced with trust.
Trust your spouse to be a good parent, trust your spouse to tell you the trust, trust your spouse to fulfill your needs, trust your spouse to be there for you.
As a parent, you will be tired and stretched thin. You will be pushed to limits you didn’t know were even possible. You will feel like giving up. But having a trustworthy spouse and someone by your side that you can close your eyes and know that they will lead the way for you is something that is priceless.
Build your marriage on trust. And actively work on it!
7. Respect each other
You and your spouse are going through a lot. Being a present parent and being a great spouse is hard to do. Because of this, you have to respect how they are feeling and what they say. This can be reeallllyyy hard. But your marriage will benefit in such a BIG way.
Don’t underestimate how your spouse is feeling or what they are saying. Be a support to him/her. Respect what your spouse says and what they do!
Want to add some fun to your marriage?
Sometimes we get caught up in the busyness of life and parenthood and mom life that we forget to tell our spouse how we feel about them, how much we love them, and why we love them.
Love and appreciation goes a LONNNGGGG way in marriage and simply saying “Thank You” can be the best gift you can give your spouse. Tell your spouse how much you love them with my free, fun “Why I Love You” & Love Coupon Booklet!
It’s super easy to make and is a 100% free instant download!
Download the FREE Love Coupons Now!
Remember, you and your spouse are going through the same transition but in a different way. You are on the same team and are growing your family together.
The secret to having a strong marriage after kids is to let your new role as mom and dad ENHANCE your marriage, not destroy it.
- Know that you and your spouse are on the same team
- Be willing to be open and honest with each other
- Show affection and don’t withhold intimacy
- Make time to be together and connect
- Practice fighting fair
- Build your marriage on trust
- Respect each other always
Follow these 7 “rules” for a strong marriage after kids and watch how prosperous your marriage can be. Don’t let your marriage fall to the hurdle of parenthood!
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